I am on the dance floor. It’s been a long day, and I can finally let my hair down! All excited, I start to relax and follow my leader’s ‘conversation’. Only, a few moments in he has a strange look on his face! What’s going on? Nothing out of the ordinary, I have seen this move before… Then he tries it again. This time I pay a little bit more attention. Oh – it IS something different. This time I know what I missed, but he probably won’t do it again…
Has this ever happened to you? As followers, the more we dance, the more familiar we become with possible combinations on the dance floor. Unfortunately, it also means we can get too comfortable and start making assumptions about the dance.
If we are dancing with someone, we need to BE PRESENT. That means looking at our partner, and engaging with the conversation. I like to compare social dancing with a conversation. In a great conversation, you’ll share something and then engage with your partner, listening to them. There’s magic bouncing off, ideas branching out, and the vibe is full of possibilities.
On the social dance floor, it should feel the same. You have probably noticed that magic happens on the days you feel energetic and not expecting too much – whether you are dancing with someone new, or someone you know very well and are used to.
The thing is leaders don’t like trying a combination/element more than twice. If it doesn’t work the first time, he may decide to test his lead by trying again (especially if you are a more experienced dancer). Or he may have got the move down pat, and by doing it a second time he’s actually giving you a second chance to follow it. If you want it – pay attention!
Many frustrating ‘following fails’ occur when the lady recognises a lead and then decides on the outcome of the move as she goes into it. GIRLS – if you don’t give him a chance to make a change, you’ll keep dancing the same things and will miss out of the magic of connection. The responsibility is on the follower. Don’t assume anything – that’s the death of spontaneity on the dance floor!
SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
It means that when you start a movement, you don’t stop following (or paying attention!). Instead your radar should be on from the beginning of the move and stay on until the move is completed. And guess what? It is still on when you’re done. Because magic happens when we are BOTH present! NOT just when the guy can lead something ‘cool’. Because he can’t tell her anything new if she is not willing to listen 😉